Thursday, June 18, 2009

Who's the Luckiest Girl in the World?

I don't mean to brag, but my husband, Vild, is extremely talented and I don't want another day to go by without him getting the recognition he deserves.

He can balance a wet filter filled with coffee grounds on an overfull can of trash like the last in a house of cards, so delicately perched in perfect equilibrium that really there's no need to empty it, it can just stay that way indefinitely.

He can use one knife in both the peanut butter and the jelly so adroitly that by the time you make your fifth sandwich from the new jar of Jiff you may not even need to bother with the jelly, its already mixed in.

He can use five towels a day, he's that concerned with freshness.

He can fit fifteen shirts on a single hook in his closet.

He can make the pool go from green to gray and back to green using only $200 worth of chemicals.

He's really good at telling me ways not to spend money on groceries. His suggestions are always excellent, and I love his help.

He can poop with the door open.

He can cut wire using only my fabric scissors.

He can be on the roof with the kids without being the least bit nervous.

He can balance his laptop on his chest, just under his chin and type with little elfin flipper hands protruding from his neck, in the dark.

He can come up with a new and exciting way of putting the dishes away, every single time, so that I'm never bored by finding the can opener.

He's considerate about venting the zip-lock bags so that the cheese can breath in the fridge.

He always reminds me to put the vacuum away in a way that I can hear it, even if I'm in the other room, which I appreciate.

Whenever I forget that he's a Republican he can think of new and more subtle ways of reminding me, so that I never forget, and that's a comfort.

He's more than willing to share my toothbrush with me.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.


  1. If it weren't for this blog, and the movie "Up," I might not have laughed out loud at all today.
    "Elfin flipper hands prodtruding from his neck," is one I will replay in my mind, just for the pleasure of the snort.

  2. I am so glad that my honey doesnt have a blog. So glad.

    But... I am stoked that Jess does! He he!

  3. My eyes are watering! good job he's cute,eh? x

  4. You nailed this one on the head! Their ability to balance items higher and higher is uncanny....whether it's the garbage, dishes teetering to and fro in the sink (though the dishwasher is a mere 8" away) or clothes in the clothes basket; undee's face up, inside out...a skill that should be given much merrit and awe. Great I could see my own little Vildy through your lucky girl!!

  5. Jessie your blog is really great. I love it. Thanks for your honesty and your sarcasm, very entertaining.
    Allie (Segall)

  6. I love you, plain and simple!!

  7. I savor the memory of said Vild agreeing to a little afternoon child care - without complaint, mind you. Wondering to myself just how it was everything was suddenly so blessedly peaceful, what his secret was, I found him building or destroying something in the garage and the children happily locked in the car in the driveway.

  8. I'm thinking Erma Bombeck

  9. i cant take it!!!! how did i miss this one??AMAZING!!!!