Thursday, June 11, 2009

Preparing for My High School Reunion - Fifteen Things That Could never happen today, but happened then.

1. Driving to Cape Cod in the middle of the night to save our friend from her family, only to find her sleeping peacefully in her childhood bed.

2. Riding around with the maintenance guy in the plow truck, 5 am, coming down off an acid trip.

3. Telling-off the interim Principal at a town hall meeting. Him calling me a "spoiled little bitch" later, when no one else could hear.

4. Charging $400 in cab fares to my dad, so we could get pizza and cigarettes.

5. Making an imprint of my boobs in the fresh cement in the lower parking lot. My nipples bled from the lye, and I'm lucky they're still attached correctly.

6. Running top speed through the woods, no moon, feeling like I was flying, feet never touching ground, face never hitting bark.

7. Believing my friends had eloped, because they said so, when in fact they just really liked each other.

8. Sitting through an entire lecture from actress, Patricia Neal and never once bothering to know who she was so I could ask a smart question, or even a stupid one.

9. Losing my virginity on a classroom floor after dark, before curfew.

10. Smoking as many cigarettes as I could possibly bum, in the condoned smoking areas.

11. Watching my friends induce vomiting in the bathroom and thinking only that it was dumb.

12. Having a religious experience. Ok, on hallucinogens then too, but hey, none the less real.

13. Unsafe sex and lots of it.

14. Buying beer from the senile pharmacist by showing a glorified bus pass as I.D.

15. Wearing fish net stockings and moccasins in the same outfit.


  1. Wow! You are too *%*&%ing funny. Hienies or Schlitz was it not?

  2. Heinies in cans, if I recall correctly.